Taxi Tales 3 - My First Runner

The Runner

This week’s taxi tale is about a runner. A runner is somebody who runs off without paying, as you can see my profession put a lot of thought into this terminology. As you know we taxi drivers, are famous for our aptitude.

I had only been driving a taxi for about three weeks, on one Saturday night about three in the morning I got a pick up at an address in the old part of town. I pulled up outside the address and watched as the front door opened, a young lad came out of the door and stood on the step, he then started to give his girlfriend a goodnight kiss. The time they took you would have thought the lad was going off to war, anyway, he eventually dragged himself away from her and got into my car. He told me his destination which was to the new part of the town, I tried to speak to him but he didn’t seem to want to talk, which is alright, some people do some don’t. As I pulled into his road I asked where about do you want to be dropped off, he replied, “Just here.”

Before I could even tell how much he owed me, he opened the door and was off running down an alleyway.  He ran that fast he would of give Usan Bolt a run for his money. Golden rule is to never leave your car unattended, but I didn’t have to go after him as I had an address where he came from, some people are even outwitted by Taxi Drivers!!!!!!!!!!!!.

So I just drove back to the house where I picked him up, to ask his girlfriend where he lived and then go to his and get my money. I pulled up outside the house, it was in total darkness, but I wanted my money, so I knocked on the door. I stood there for about thirty seconds, no answer, so I knocked again but this time a lot louder. Then the upstairs bedroom windrow opened, a man’s head poppped out, looked at my car looked, then  back at me, and shouted “I HAVN’T ORDERED A F***ING TAXI” and was about to close the window.

“no,no,no…” I stuttered…” I picked up here about twenty minutes ago and the lad I picked up has done a runner”

“WAIT THERE!” he ordered….. I obeyed!                                                                                                                        As I waited, I began to question whether this was in actual fact a good idea.  The downstairs living room light came on and I took a couple of steps back, I was a fresh-faced 21yr old at the time, the man looked to be about 40. The front door suddenly swung open, and he stood looking at me. He was dressed in an old T-shirt and his boxer shorts and looked distinctly vexed, to say the least!

“Say that again!” he said. I explained that I had picked up a young lad from this house and told him where the lad had gone, what he looked like, and more importantly the fact that he had not paid.

He then turned round and bellowed up the stairs,” SHARON!!!!!!!!!  GET DOWN HERE NOW!!!!!!” 

After a couple of tense minutes, Sharon appeared in her dressing gown. Sharon was the lads girlfriend and the extremely angry man’s daughter.

“Do you know who this is?” the man barked at her.

“Erm…no,” Sharon replied.

“This is the f***ing taxi driver that picked your dick head of a boyfriend up. Well, your dick head boyfriend ran off and didn’t pay!”

Whilst this was going on, I was stood watching and listening and had an overwhelming feeling of ‘Uh oh!!’

The man asked me what I was owed, I told him it was £2.20. He went inside and returned with £3 and told me to keep the change.

As I turned and began to walk away I heard him telling Sharon that he was going to f***ing kill that little dick head when he sees him next.

Me being the young and rather cheeky 21yr old I said,” Hey mate, is there any chance I can come back and watch you kill him?”

He looked at me, and for a split second I swear a smile flickered across his face, then he growled, “F**K OFF YOU PRICK!”, and confirmed to me that he wasn’t actually smiling.

I took his advice and, well, shall we say I left!

To this day I still don’t know if the ‘dick head’ is actually still alive!!!!!