Alcohol Labels Just Like Cigarettes
Liquor manufacturers have accepted the government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting
your ass kicked.
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may mack you tink you kan tpye reel
gode.
