A Christmas Poem

       CHRISTMAS EVE                                                    

On the night before Christmas

I said to my son

“Come on, up the stairs now

Or Santa won’t come”

“Have I been good enough?

Will he come? Will he Dad?”

“Of course he will mate

You’ve been an extra good lad”

I kissed him on his head

Tucked him cosy in his quilt

“Night night son,” I said

With my mind full of guilt

If I’d tried harder at school

I could have carved a career

Then had enough money

To fill his Christmas with cheer

But money was sparse

Like his gifts by the tree

I loved him so much

But love won’t fill him with glee

Just then all went silent

And snow it did fall

I watched through the window

It built up on the wall

As the snow tumbled down

The green lawn became white

A loud tap on the window

Gave me a fright

On the ledge stood a Robin

His breast full and red

He fluffed up his feathers

And shook snow off his head

Distant bells I heard jingle

And a voice full of cheer

“That’s the house Prancer

Set us down have no fear”

I heard reigns being stretched

Snorting beasts and a booming “WHOA!!!”

Then a CRASH a BANG and  THUD

My garden blew up with snow

The window was covered

I couldn’t see out

But I knew what had landed

There was simply no doubt

From behind me, a voice

“HO HO HO” it said

I turned, and I saw him

Dressed in black white and red

My eyes so wide open

My jaw hanging so low

St. Nick was before me

All dusted with snow

The man didn’t look at me

Just busied himself

Stacking parcels galore

With the help of an Elf

Then he walked to the door

Glanced back and said with a wink

“You deserve this young man

For the way that you think”

The door shut behind him

Then his voice boomed from outside

“DASHER!.. COMET!.. BLIXEN!

Let’s get on with this ride”

I heard animals snort

Hooves muffled in the snow

Then a scrape, a slide, then silence

Just a distant ‘HO HO HO’

I awoke with a jolt

The door slammed shut with a thud

Pyjama clad my son shouted

“DAD LOOK, I’VE BEEN GOOD!”

His eyes now wide open

His mouth beaming a smile

He ripped open the gifts

There was such a big pile

My son was so happy

A perfect Christmas day

I heard a tap on the window

And watched the Robin fly away

Philip Parry 2013

Who Put Him In Charge

A little video about one of my poems from my book 'View From My Mind' 

Who Put Him in Charge?

Is it a sin to wish you were rich?

Would it look bad in the eyes of the Lord?

Should you be happy to struggle to pay your bills?

Should you be happy with your battered old Ford?

It wouldn't be so bad if all men were equal

If we were all in the same boat

But we're not, so the poor do all the hard work

While the rich sit back and gloat

They come out of their big comfy homes

Drive their big cars, full of gadgets and clocks

They don't spare a thought for the man in the street

Who lives under a bridge, in a box

If we really are created by god

And he's all knowing and all powerful

Then I wish he'd get down from his pedestal

And stop dishing out so much bull!!!!!!!!!!

IF I WAS GOD,.... I'D BE FAIR........... TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Singing Assassin

I.N.R.I - View From My Mind Trailer

'View From My Mind' my collection of poems is now available in paperback, I made this little trailer about one of my poems 'I.N.R.I' and also included the poem in this post, have a look at both and let me know what you think.

Where to buy 'View From My Mind'

I.N.R.I

Come on, you said you where coming back

But this is beyond a joke now mate

You where clever though, I’ll give you that

Not giving a specific date



Look at the state of the place, it’s bad

Every day is getting worse

It’s like the devil himself

Has unleashed an evil curse



If you’re stuck, I’ll pay for your taxi

Just get back here, and get here fast

We need you here to help us

Because without you we won’t last



So come on now, people are desperate

There’s a disease of growing fears

Jesus Christ, you’re taking the piss

Making us wait two thousand years.

Taxi Tales - Now Available in Paperback

'Taxi Tales' is available in paperback format. as well as writing books I've decided to give Steven Spielberg some competition, have a look at the trailer for my book 'Taxi Tales' and let if Spielberg has got anything to worry about.

You've now watched the trailer, e-mailed Spielberg and told him to watch his back because he's got some serious competition, all you have to do now is click on the link below, and buy the book. All the tales in the book are true, written by myself and Glenn Pye. So just click on the link, which will take you to Amazon .

Click here to buy 'Taxi Tales'

Done Deal- A view From My Mind Trailer

'View From My Mind' my collection of poems is now available in paperback, I made this little trailer about one of my poems 'Done Deal' and also included the poem in this post, have a look at both and let me know what you think.

Where to buy 'View From My Mind' 

Done deal

Thunder clapped

Clouds parted

Lightening crackled through

My eyes adjusted from the flash

And standing there was you

You grinned and looked me up and down

Then said, “It’s time to pay”

“No!” I said, “You can’t...

You can’t do this today!”

“I can…,” you said, “... we made a deal,

And you then achieved your goal.

I done everything you asked of me

And now I want your soul!”

Out of Africa - Some Great Funny Photos

Thanks for putting me in the picture

Must be election time

Nothing to say here, but men stay well clear

Been trying to find a review on Yelp

Sorry, WHAT?

If that sign doesn't bring customers in, nothing will

See Wimpy are branching out

Ok then, i'll go to the shop next door

Well at least they supply toilet paper

That's what you call an open top

Insurance companies are going to love this

I wonder if that's his sister

I've never seen these BBQ's in my local store

Make your mind up

Ok, Cheers for the advice;

View From My Mind - Paperback Version

My 'View From My Mind' poetry series is now available in paperback. Books one and two have been combined to make one book.

Click the link to take you straight to Amazon to buy the paperback version price at only £4.00, or if you want the book in Kindle format click on the link to buy it on Kindle, price at only £1.02. Amazon Kindle

Taxi Tales - Film Trailer

You've now seen the trailer, now read the book, click onto the link to read a free preview of 'Taxi Tales'

Now buy the book, available on Kindle and Nook Book Format.

Free preview of 'Taxi Tales'

Where to buy 'Taxi Tales' from

Today's Bad Idea

Just when you think a person can't get any dumber.....This will cleanse the gene pool a little.

I know, I know, I saw it right away too ....No safety glasses or hearing protection! And I caught something else that is really important, he has no gloves on. I might be up in age but I am still sharp as a tack -- don't you agree?

Lobotomy - My Film Trailer

Private Property... My Film Trailer

Little Joke

Yesterday i was walking down the street holding hands with my wife, i let go of her hand to get my phone out so i could take this photo, she slapped me across the face and wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the day.  Can't understand her problem, let's face it, it's not everyday you see a dog driving a car down the street.

The Hypnotist.. My film trailer

People Are Awesome 2013

We didn't own an Ipad

For all you people who where brought up in the 80's this will bring back some memory s. 

Just WHAT do people expect when going on holiday??

From Thomas Cook Holidays listing some of their UK clientele’s genuine complaints.


1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

5. "The beach was too sandy."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

7. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

9. "There was no egg-slicer in the apartment."

10. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

11. "The roads were uneven.."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers -- will we be OK staying there?"

15. "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad."

16. "We had to queue outside with no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. No-one said they could bite."

19. "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room.
We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

MAN RULES - I'M BEING BRAVE

AT LAST A BLOKE HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

LET AS MANY MEN YOU KNOW TO READ THIS - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

THEN TELL AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN TO READ THIS - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE

Parent of the Year Award

And to think you need a licence to go fishing!!

Fantastic Weather Photos

Mother Nature at Her Best